5.Crying5.哭泣Crying seems like an ordinary enough experience and something we dont really think of as strange. Yet if we really stop to contemplate whats happening—salt water dripping out of our eyes during emotional moments—it seems a little bizarre. What do tears, eyes, and emotions have to do with each other?哭泣似乎是一件相當(dāng)普通的事，我們真的不覺得這會(huì)是奇怪的行為。不過讓我們停下來仔細(xì)想想——情緒激動(dòng)的時(shí)候就會(huì)流淚，這似乎就有點(diǎn)兒奇怪了。那么，眼淚、眼睛以及情緒之間究竟有著怎樣的聯(lián)系呢？

One of the prevailing theories to explain human crying is put forth by Dutch psychologist Ad Vingerhoets. He argues that crying is largely a social sign that has its evolutionary roots in distress signals. Most young animals emit some type of distress sound to alert others that they need help. Its thought that crying started as a way for humans to signify their distress (through tears) without making a predator-alerting scream or other noise. Although human babies usually have audible cries, adults often shed tears with little noise. Evolutionarily, this could have been an advantageous response, since another member of the tribe would only need to glance at the crier to see he was in trouble. Interestingly, humans are the only species to emit emotional tears. Most other animals stop making distress calls after reaching adulthood.Further evidence that crying may have originated as a response to danger or trouble is that it also works in conjunction with our sympathetic nervous system (or the fight or flight system). For example, in addition to shedding tears, crying speeds up the heart rate, increases sweating, and slows breathing. Emotional tears even contain a natural painkiller, leucine enkephalin, which could partially explain why we sometimes feel better after a good cry.So, although we can nowadays cry when alone or during harmless, sappy movies, the act may have started as a method of protection.目前較為普遍的理論是荷蘭心理學(xué)家艾德·威格爾茲提出的關(guān)于哭泣的解釋。他認(rèn)為哭泣是從求救信號(hào)進(jìn)化而成的社交信號(hào)。大多數(shù)幼小的動(dòng)物都會(huì)在需要幫助的時(shí)候發(fā)出某種求救的聲音。而對(duì)于人類來說，哭泣最開始只是一種表達(dá)痛苦的方式，只是流淚，而非尖叫或發(fā)出其他巨大聲響。雖然人類在嬰兒時(shí)期都是大聲啼哭，但成年后反而只是低聲抽泣了。從進(jìn)化論的角度來看，這樣的反應(yīng)其實(shí)更具優(yōu)勢(shì)（因?yàn)榘隆ね駹柶澱J(rèn)為，大多數(shù)動(dòng)物成長(zhǎng)后，將不再需要釋放悲痛的信號(hào)，這可能是因?yàn)榕乱齺砀蟮奈ｋU(xiǎn)。而比起發(fā)出巨大聲響來說，哭泣反而沒有那么危險(xiǎn)）。對(duì)于親近的人來說，一滴眼淚足以讓他們知道你處于痛苦中。有趣的是，只有人類會(huì)因情緒上的原因流淚，也只有人類成年后還會(huì)流淚，其他大多數(shù)動(dòng)物成年后就不再發(fā)出呼救信號(hào)了。進(jìn)一步的證據(jù)表明哭泣可能是源于對(duì)危險(xiǎn)和困難的反應(yīng)，并且它還與我們的交感神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)相關(guān)。比方說除了流淚之外，哭泣還會(huì)使心率加速、出汗增加以及呼吸減緩。情緒激動(dòng)時(shí)的流淚甚至可以說是亮氨酸腦啡肽——一味天然的止痛藥，這就是為什么有時(shí)候我們?cè)诳捱^后反而感覺更好。這樣看來，雖然我們是因?yàn)楣陋?dú)或是看了悲情的電影感到難過而哭泣，但這同樣也是一種自我保護(hù)的方式。

4.Twitch When Falling Asleep4.熟睡的時(shí)候抽搐

As much as 70 percent of people twitch or have an involuntary jerk, or hypnagogic jerk, when falling asleep. Other than amusing awake onlookers, it seems there must be an explanation for a behavior thats apparently so common. Unfortunately, scientists arent entirely sure why we have the spasms, but of course, there are some educated hypotheses.高達(dá)70%的人入睡時(shí)都會(huì)不由自主的抽搐或者痙攣。除了娛樂清醒的旁觀者外，似乎一定有一個(gè)原因來解釋為何這一癥狀出現(xiàn)得如此頻繁。不幸的是，現(xiàn)在科學(xué)家們尚不能完全確定我們肌肉痙攣的原因。但當(dāng)然，他們也有一些科學(xué)的猜測(cè)。Some scientists believe its nothing more than an accidental reaction that happens when our nerves misfire while transitioning from alertness to sleep. This is because our bodies dont have a definitive on/off switch, where on is awake and off is asleep. Instead we gradually transition between the state where our reticular activating system (which governs basic physiological processes) is in full force and when the ventrolateral system (which drives sleepiness and influences sleep cycles) is in charge. We can be in the middle of the two states, such as when feeling sleepy, and there can be a bit of a struggle as we firmly position ourselves into one state or another. This back-and-forth struggle is thought to cause the misfiring, and the twitches are the last fights of wakefulness.In contrast, others believe its an evolutionary response left over from our tree-dwelling days, and the jerks are a primate reflex that keeps us from getting too relaxed and falling from branches. Other types of spasms while sleeping arent quite the same as a hypnagogic jerk. Dreaming of falling, for instance, and then jerking oneself awake is more of an example of dream incorporation where the brain intermixes real life and the dream state.一些科學(xué)家認(rèn)為痙攣只不過是我們的身體在由清醒到熟睡的過渡中，神經(jīng)元失敗地傳達(dá)睡覺信息時(shí)做出的偶然反應(yīng)。這是因?yàn)槲覀兊纳眢w并沒有一個(gè)明確的開關(guān)來控制我們是否清醒還是熟睡。相反，在逐漸完成在網(wǎng)狀激活系統(tǒng)(控制基本生理過程)充分發(fā)揮作用時(shí)和腹外側(cè)的系統(tǒng)(驅(qū)動(dòng)嗜睡和影響睡眠周期)全權(quán)負(fù)責(zé)時(shí)的過渡，并且從一種狀態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)換到另一種狀態(tài)的過程中，我們的思維一定是掙扎的。而這種反復(fù)的掙扎恰好被認(rèn)為是神經(jīng)元失敗傳達(dá)信息的原因，抽搐也被當(dāng)做是覺醒前最后的掙扎。相反，另一些科學(xué)家認(rèn)為抽搐是我們從靈長(zhǎng)動(dòng)物時(shí)期遺留下的進(jìn)化反應(yīng)，并覺得痙攣是靈長(zhǎng)動(dòng)物的反射，這可以避免讓它們因?yàn)樘潘啥鴱臉渖系?。我們熟睡時(shí)的肌肉痙攣與入睡抽動(dòng)并不是完全一樣。比如，夢(mèng)見自己往下跌落時(shí)，因抽搐而從夢(mèng)中醒來則是我們的大腦混淆了夢(mèng)與現(xiàn)實(shí)最好例子。

3.Gossiping3.八卦

Women usually get pegged as the biggest gossips out of the two sexes, but men are guilty of this social offense as well. At least one study says men gossip 32 percent more than women per day. No matter which sex has the biggest blabbermouths, hurtful gossip can come back to bite us, yet it seems we cant help ourselves when it comes to dishing a little dirt.女性通常是被認(rèn)為兩性之間最愛八卦的人，但男性同樣需要對(duì)這種社會(huì)冒犯承擔(dān)責(zé)任。至少有一項(xiàng)調(diào)查的結(jié)果顯示，男性每天比女性多八卦32%。不管哪種性別的人最擅長(zhǎng)于嚼舌根，但這些傷人的八卦總能使人傷心。而且，這些八卦對(duì)我們自己來說也沒有任何益處。The reason for this is that most of us have an inherent desire to bond with those immediately around us—an urge that can overpower any moral obligations we might feel to mind our own business. We want to form social connections to people in our vicinity, and gossiping not only gives us something to talk about, it immediately creates a sense of trust, since the act of gossiping signals that were letting the other person in our confidence. In turn, the other person shares secrets, and a rapport is established. As we all know, it also gives us a feeling of superiority, is good for a laugh, and spices up boring situations. Curiously, gossiping about peoples successes (if there is such a thing) doesnt have the same effect. Studies show that connecting over shared dislikes creates stronger bonds than discussing shared positives.Although gossiping means were throwing someone else under the bus for the sake of an immediate relationship or gratification, it might not be an entirely bad thing. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar says that gossip partly drove the evolutionary development of our brains. He argues that language first developed out of our desire to share gossip, and it enables us to talk about those who arent present while indirectly teaching others how to properly relate to the group.About 60 percent of conversations between adults are about someone whos not present. Thus, theres no need to be paranoid that your friends are talking about you when youre not around, as its almost certainly a fact.八卦源于我們大多數(shù)人都有與周圍的人建立聯(lián)系的內(nèi)在渴望——一種迫使我們?nèi)ピ谝庥嘘P(guān)的自身道德義務(wù)的沖動(dòng)。我們都希望與身邊人建立起良好的社會(huì)關(guān)系，閑聊不僅能給我們的談話帶來一定的談資，它還能立即創(chuàng)造一種信任感。八卦一旦開始，這就意味著我們之間存在相互的信任。奇怪的是，八卦別人的成功（如果那個(gè)人的確成功的話）卻沒有同樣的影響。研究表明，共同討論不喜歡的事物比討論喜歡的事物更容易增進(jìn)人與人之間的關(guān)系。雖然八卦意味著為了促進(jìn)關(guān)系和暫時(shí)的快樂而對(duì)某個(gè)人落井下石，但它也不完全是一件壞事。人類學(xué)家羅賓·鄧巴表示，八卦對(duì)我們大腦的進(jìn)化發(fā)展起到了一定的促進(jìn)作用。他提出語言最開始的發(fā)展源于人類分享八卦的渴望，這種渴望使我們?nèi)グ素阅切┎辉趫?chǎng)的人。大約60%的成年人之間的對(duì)話是關(guān)于某人不在場(chǎng)的八卦。因此，沒有必要偏執(zhí)的認(rèn)為你的朋友趁你不在的時(shí)候瘋狂的八卦你，這幾乎是一個(gè)肯定的事實(shí)了。

2.Liking Sad Movies2.喜歡悲情電影

Enough grief, misfortune, and other nonsense happens to us on a daily basis that it seems ridiculous that we would want to spend our entertainment hours subjecting ourselves to more sadness. Despite this, we still regularly find ourselves sitting down to watch a guaranteed tearjerker. While it may seem counterintuitive, one reason for this is that watching tragedies actually makes us feel happier in the short term and therefore boosts our enjoyment of the movie. Researchers at Ohio State University found that watching sad movies causes people to think about their own close relationships, which makes them feel appreciative and satisfied with their lives. Seeing tragedies on the screen causes folks to examine their own lives and count their blessings. However, the researchers point out that this reaction is not the same as those who watch a tragic movie and think something along the lines of, Sheesh, at least I dont have it as bad as that guy. Those viewers have selfish thinking, are more focused on themselves instead of others, and dont experience any boost in happiness after watching the film.在日常生活中，悲傷、失意或一些無厘頭的煩心事時(shí)有發(fā)生，如果在閑暇之余還要尋求更多傷感就顯得有些可笑了。但人們還是會(huì)經(jīng)常坐下來去看一些保證催人淚下的影視作品。雖然這看起來有點(diǎn)違反直覺，但看悲情電影會(huì)使人得到暫時(shí)的放松從而更多的去關(guān)注電影的劇情。俄亥俄州立大學(xué)的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，看悲情電影會(huì)引人深省，感恩生活，知足常樂。銀屏里上演的悲劇讓人們?cè)u(píng)估自己的生活狀況，細(xì)數(shù)人生際遇。然而，研究人員又指出，這種反應(yīng)并不適用于那些思想狹隘的觀眾，這些人在看到悲慘劇情時(shí)總想著：切，反正我又不會(huì)那么倒霉。他們總以自我為中心，只關(guān)注自己不關(guān)心他人，所以看電影對(duì)他們來說也不會(huì)起到任何怡情作用。Also, according to Dr. Paul Zak, seeing movies or hearing stories about others causes us to feel empathy and prompts our brains to release oxytocin, which increases our feelings of caring. Zak even refers to oxytocin as the moral molecule because of how it makes us more trustworthy, generous, and compassionate. Right after a sad movie and the ensuing rush of oxytocin, we feel more connected to the people around us and overall more satisfied—even if we are shedding some tears. This feeling keeps us coming back for even more depressing flicks.同時(shí)，保羅·塞克博士研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，看電影或是聽他人的故事會(huì)對(duì)人起到移情作用，并會(huì)促使人體釋放催產(chǎn)素。他還提出催產(chǎn)素作為道德分子，可以提升人的信任感、慷慨度以及同情心。看完悲情電影釋放荷爾蒙之后，人們會(huì)感覺與身邊人的關(guān)系更近了，自身整體上更滿足了——即使流了一些眼淚。這種感覺也會(huì)促使人們看更多的悲情電影。

1.Thinking Silence Is Awkward1.把沉默當(dāng)做尷尬

Regardless of whether there is anything of value to say, many of us feel a burning desire to fill every silent moment with some type of conversation. Whats so bad about just sitting quietly with someone, and why does prolonged silence make us feel so awkward?大多數(shù)人都會(huì)急切地用各種話題來填補(bǔ)每一個(gè)沉默瞬間，不管這個(gè)話題有沒有談?wù)摰膬r(jià)值。和某人安靜的坐在一起一言不發(fā)到底有什么不好呢？為什么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間保持沉默會(huì)讓人感到尷尬呢？Like many of our behaviors, it all comes down to our primal desire to belong and fit in with the group. According to psychologist Namkje Koudenburg, when the dance of conversation doesnt follow the traditional ebb and flow, we start to worry that something might not be right. We may wonder if were uninteresting or not relevant, which makes us worry about our position in the group. On the other hand, when the dialogue is bouncing back and forth as expected, we feel socially validated.That said, not all cultures experience awkward silence in the same ways as Americans and others. For example, in Japan, a long pause can be a sign of respect, especially when considering a serious question. Cross-culture businesspeople are even trained on this etiquette, so they dont assume a silent Japanese colleague is unsatisfied with the negotiation or whatever else the conversation is about.The Finnish, Australian Aboriginals, and those in many Asian countries are also known for long, silent pauses in their talk and dont see them as a sign that the conversation has broken down. Rather, its not uncommon for people from these countries to think Americans talk too much and dominate conversations. Incidentally, for those of us where nonstop talking is the norm, researchers say it only takes four seconds of silence for things to get awkward.與我們的很多行為一樣，這都是出于人類群體意識(shí)的本能反應(yīng)。據(jù)心理學(xué)家Namkje Koudenburg研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)交流模式和一般你來我往的情況不同時(shí)，我們就開始擔(dān)心是不是交流過程中出現(xiàn)了什么問題。我們會(huì)思考是不是別人對(duì)自己所說的話不感興趣，抑或是自己人微言輕不足以被重視。與之相反，如果交談順利，我們就會(huì)找到自身的存在感。即便如此，并不是所有文化都和美國(guó)文化中的沉默即尷尬一樣。在日本，交流過程中出現(xiàn)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的停頓會(huì)被看成是一種尊重，尤其是在思考某些嚴(yán)肅問題的情況下?？缥幕浑H的商人甚至?xí)ｉT學(xué)習(xí)這種禮儀。所以在他們看來，日本同事的沉默并不意味著對(duì)協(xié)議不滿意，這也不會(huì)對(duì)交流產(chǎn)生任何影響。芬蘭人、澳大利亞土著居民，以及許多亞洲人，他們?cè)诮涣鬟^程中經(jīng)常會(huì)出現(xiàn)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間沉默的情況，但那并不意味著話題的結(jié)束。這些國(guó)家的人也普遍認(rèn)為美國(guó)人在交流過程中非?；钴S且一直占據(jù)著話語的主動(dòng)權(quán)。順帶一提的是，專家指出對(duì)于不喜歡交流過程中出現(xiàn)沉默的人來說，四秒的停頓就足以讓談話變得尷尬了。

審校：喵喵 編輯：listen 來源：前十網(wǎng)

5.Crying5.哭泣Crying seems like an ordinary enough experience and something we dont really think of as strange. Yet if we really stop to contemplate whats happening—salt water dripping out of our eyes during emotional moments—it seems a little bizarre. What do tears, eyes, and emotions have to do with each other?哭泣似乎是一件相當(dāng)普通的事，我們真的不覺得這會(huì)是奇怪的行為。不過讓我們停下來仔細(xì)想想——情緒激動(dòng)的時(shí)候就會(huì)流淚，這似乎就有點(diǎn)兒奇怪了。那么，眼淚、眼睛以及情緒之間究竟有著怎樣的聯(lián)系呢？

One of the prevailing theories to explain human crying is put forth by Dutch psychologist Ad Vingerhoets. He argues that crying is largely a social sign that has its evolutionary roots in distress signals. Most young animals emit some type of distress sound to alert others that they need help. Its thought that crying started as a way for humans to signify their distress (through tears) without making a predator-alerting scream or other noise. Although human babies usually have audible cries, adults often shed tears with little noise. Evolutionarily, this could have been an advantageous response, since another member of the tribe would only need to glance at the crier to see he was in trouble. Interestingly, humans are the only species to emit emotional tears. Most other animals stop making distress calls after reaching adulthood.Further evidence that crying may have originated as a response to danger or trouble is that it also works in conjunction with our sympathetic nervous system (or the fight or flight system). For example, in addition to shedding tears, crying speeds up the heart rate, increases sweating, and slows breathing. Emotional tears even contain a natural painkiller, leucine enkephalin, which could partially explain why we sometimes feel better after a good cry.So, although we can nowadays cry when alone or during harmless, sappy movies, the act may have started as a method of protection.目前較為普遍的理論是荷蘭心理學(xué)家艾德·威格爾茲提出的關(guān)于哭泣的解釋。他認(rèn)為哭泣是從求救信號(hào)進(jìn)化而成的社交信號(hào)。大多數(shù)幼小的動(dòng)物都會(huì)在需要幫助的時(shí)候發(fā)出某種求救的聲音。而對(duì)于人類來說，哭泣最開始只是一種表達(dá)痛苦的方式，只是流淚，而非尖叫或發(fā)出其他巨大聲響。雖然人類在嬰兒時(shí)期都是大聲啼哭，但成年后反而只是低聲抽泣了。從進(jìn)化論的角度來看，這樣的反應(yīng)其實(shí)更具優(yōu)勢(shì)（因?yàn)榘隆ね駹柶澱J(rèn)為，大多數(shù)動(dòng)物成長(zhǎng)后，將不再需要釋放悲痛的信號(hào)，這可能是因?yàn)榕乱齺砀蟮奈ｋU(xiǎn)。而比起發(fā)出巨大聲響來說，哭泣反而沒有那么危險(xiǎn)）。對(duì)于親近的人來說，一滴眼淚足以讓他們知道你處于痛苦中。有趣的是，只有人類會(huì)因情緒上的原因流淚，也只有人類成年后還會(huì)流淚，其他大多數(shù)動(dòng)物成年后就不再發(fā)出呼救信號(hào)了。進(jìn)一步的證據(jù)表明哭泣可能是源于對(duì)危險(xiǎn)和困難的反應(yīng)，并且它還與我們的交感神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)相關(guān)。比方說除了流淚之外，哭泣還會(huì)使心率加速、出汗增加以及呼吸減緩。情緒激動(dòng)時(shí)的流淚甚至可以說是亮氨酸腦啡肽——一味天然的止痛藥，這就是為什么有時(shí)候我們?cè)诳捱^后反而感覺更好。這樣看來，雖然我們是因?yàn)楣陋?dú)或是看了悲情的電影感到難過而哭泣，但這同樣也是一種自我保護(hù)的方式。

4.Twitch When Falling Asleep4.熟睡的時(shí)候抽搐

As much as 70 percent of people twitch or have an involuntary jerk, or hypnagogic jerk, when falling asleep. Other than amusing awake onlookers, it seems there must be an explanation for a behavior thats apparently so common. Unfortunately, scientists arent entirely sure why we have the spasms, but of course, there are some educated hypotheses.高達(dá)70%的人入睡時(shí)都會(huì)不由自主的抽搐或者痙攣。除了娛樂清醒的旁觀者外，似乎一定有一個(gè)原因來解釋為何這一癥狀出現(xiàn)得如此頻繁。不幸的是，現(xiàn)在科學(xué)家們尚不能完全確定我們肌肉痙攣的原因。但當(dāng)然，他們也有一些科學(xué)的猜測(cè)。Some scientists believe its nothing more than an accidental reaction that happens when our nerves misfire while transitioning from alertness to sleep. This is because our bodies dont have a definitive on/off switch, where on is awake and off is asleep. Instead we gradually transition between the state where our reticular activating system (which governs basic physiological processes) is in full force and when the ventrolateral system (which drives sleepiness and influences sleep cycles) is in charge. We can be in the middle of the two states, such as when feeling sleepy, and there can be a bit of a struggle as we firmly position ourselves into one state or another. This back-and-forth struggle is thought to cause the misfiring, and the twitches are the last fights of wakefulness.In contrast, others believe its an evolutionary response left over from our tree-dwelling days, and the jerks are a primate reflex that keeps us from getting too relaxed and falling from branches. Other types of spasms while sleeping arent quite the same as a hypnagogic jerk. Dreaming of falling, for instance, and then jerking oneself awake is more of an example of dream incorporation where the brain intermixes real life and the dream state.一些科學(xué)家認(rèn)為痙攣只不過是我們的身體在由清醒到熟睡的過渡中，神經(jīng)元失敗地傳達(dá)睡覺信息時(shí)做出的偶然反應(yīng)。這是因?yàn)槲覀兊纳眢w并沒有一個(gè)明確的開關(guān)來控制我們是否清醒還是熟睡。相反，在逐漸完成在網(wǎng)狀激活系統(tǒng)(控制基本生理過程)充分發(fā)揮作用時(shí)和腹外側(cè)的系統(tǒng)(驅(qū)動(dòng)嗜睡和影響睡眠周期)全權(quán)負(fù)責(zé)時(shí)的過渡，并且從一種狀態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)換到另一種狀態(tài)的過程中，我們的思維一定是掙扎的。而這種反復(fù)的掙扎恰好被認(rèn)為是神經(jīng)元失敗傳達(dá)信息的原因，抽搐也被當(dāng)做是覺醒前最后的掙扎。相反，另一些科學(xué)家認(rèn)為抽搐是我們從靈長(zhǎng)動(dòng)物時(shí)期遺留下的進(jìn)化反應(yīng)，并覺得痙攣是靈長(zhǎng)動(dòng)物的反射，這可以避免讓它們因?yàn)樘潘啥鴱臉渖系?。我們熟睡時(shí)的肌肉痙攣與入睡抽動(dòng)并不是完全一樣。比如，夢(mèng)見自己往下跌落時(shí)，因抽搐而從夢(mèng)中醒來則是我們的大腦混淆了夢(mèng)與現(xiàn)實(shí)最好例子。

3.Gossiping3.八卦

Women usually get pegged as the biggest gossips out of the two sexes, but men are guilty of this social offense as well. At least one study says men gossip 32 percent more than women per day. No matter which sex has the biggest blabbermouths, hurtful gossip can come back to bite us, yet it seems we cant help ourselves when it comes to dishing a little dirt.女性通常是被認(rèn)為兩性之間最愛八卦的人，但男性同樣需要對(duì)這種社會(huì)冒犯承擔(dān)責(zé)任。至少有一項(xiàng)調(diào)查的結(jié)果顯示，男性每天比女性多八卦32%。不管哪種性別的人最擅長(zhǎng)于嚼舌根，但這些傷人的八卦總能使人傷心。而且，這些八卦對(duì)我們自己來說也沒有任何益處。The reason for this is that most of us have an inherent desire to bond with those immediately around us—an urge that can overpower any moral obligations we might feel to mind our own business. We want to form social connections to people in our vicinity, and gossiping not only gives us something to talk about, it immediately creates a sense of trust, since the act of gossiping signals that were letting the other person in our confidence. In turn, the other person shares secrets, and a rapport is established. As we all know, it also gives us a feeling of superiority, is good for a laugh, and spices up boring situations. Curiously, gossiping about peoples successes (if there is such a thing) doesnt have the same effect. Studies show that connecting over shared dislikes creates stronger bonds than discussing shared positives.Although gossiping means were throwing someone else under the bus for the sake of an immediate relationship or gratification, it might not be an entirely bad thing. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar says that gossip partly drove the evolutionary development of our brains. He argues that language first developed out of our desire to share gossip, and it enables us to talk about those who arent present while indirectly teaching others how to properly relate to the group.About 60 percent of conversations between adults are about someone whos not present. Thus, theres no need to be paranoid that your friends are talking about you when youre not around, as its almost certainly a fact.八卦源于我們大多數(shù)人都有與周圍的人建立聯(lián)系的內(nèi)在渴望——一種迫使我們?nèi)ピ谝庥嘘P(guān)的自身道德義務(wù)的沖動(dòng)。我們都希望與身邊人建立起良好的社會(huì)關(guān)系，閑聊不僅能給我們的談話帶來一定的談資，它還能立即創(chuàng)造一種信任感。八卦一旦開始，這就意味著我們之間存在相互的信任。奇怪的是，八卦別人的成功（如果那個(gè)人的確成功的話）卻沒有同樣的影響。研究表明，共同討論不喜歡的事物比討論喜歡的事物更容易增進(jìn)人與人之間的關(guān)系。雖然八卦意味著為了促進(jìn)關(guān)系和暫時(shí)的快樂而對(duì)某個(gè)人落井下石，但它也不完全是一件壞事。人類學(xué)家羅賓·鄧巴表示，八卦對(duì)我們大腦的進(jìn)化發(fā)展起到了一定的促進(jìn)作用。他提出語言最開始的發(fā)展源于人類分享八卦的渴望，這種渴望使我們?nèi)グ素阅切┎辉趫?chǎng)的人。大約60%的成年人之間的對(duì)話是關(guān)于某人不在場(chǎng)的八卦。因此，沒有必要偏執(zhí)的認(rèn)為你的朋友趁你不在的時(shí)候瘋狂的八卦你，這幾乎是一個(gè)肯定的事實(shí)了。

2.Liking Sad Movies2.喜歡悲情電影

Enough grief, misfortune, and other nonsense happens to us on a daily basis that it seems ridiculous that we would want to spend our entertainment hours subjecting ourselves to more sadness. Despite this, we still regularly find ourselves sitting down to watch a guaranteed tearjerker. While it may seem counterintuitive, one reason for this is that watching tragedies actually makes us feel happier in the short term and therefore boosts our enjoyment of the movie. Researchers at Ohio State University found that watching sad movies causes people to think about their own close relationships, which makes them feel appreciative and satisfied with their lives. Seeing tragedies on the screen causes folks to examine their own lives and count their blessings. However, the researchers point out that this reaction is not the same as those who watch a tragic movie and think something along the lines of, Sheesh, at least I dont have it as bad as that guy. Those viewers have selfish thinking, are more focused on themselves instead of others, and dont experience any boost in happiness after watching the film.在日常生活中，悲傷、失意或一些無厘頭的煩心事時(shí)有發(fā)生，如果在閑暇之余還要尋求更多傷感就顯得有些可笑了。但人們還是會(huì)經(jīng)常坐下來去看一些保證催人淚下的影視作品。雖然這看起來有點(diǎn)違反直覺，但看悲情電影會(huì)使人得到暫時(shí)的放松從而更多的去關(guān)注電影的劇情。俄亥俄州立大學(xué)的研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，看悲情電影會(huì)引人深省，感恩生活，知足常樂。銀屏里上演的悲劇讓人們?cè)u(píng)估自己的生活狀況，細(xì)數(shù)人生際遇。然而，研究人員又指出，這種反應(yīng)并不適用于那些思想狹隘的觀眾，這些人在看到悲慘劇情時(shí)總想著：切，反正我又不會(huì)那么倒霉。他們總以自我為中心，只關(guān)注自己不關(guān)心他人，所以看電影對(duì)他們來說也不會(huì)起到任何怡情作用。Also, according to Dr. Paul Zak, seeing movies or hearing stories about others causes us to feel empathy and prompts our brains to release oxytocin, which increases our feelings of caring. Zak even refers to oxytocin as the moral molecule because of how it makes us more trustworthy, generous, and compassionate. Right after a sad movie and the ensuing rush of oxytocin, we feel more connected to the people around us and overall more satisfied—even if we are shedding some tears. This feeling keeps us coming back for even more depressing flicks.同時(shí)，保羅·塞克博士研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，看電影或是聽他人的故事會(huì)對(duì)人起到移情作用，并會(huì)促使人體釋放催產(chǎn)素。他還提出催產(chǎn)素作為道德分子，可以提升人的信任感、慷慨度以及同情心?？赐瓯殡娪搬尫藕蔂柮芍?，人們會(huì)感覺與身邊人的關(guān)系更近了，自身整體上更滿足了——即使流了一些眼淚。這種感覺也會(huì)促使人們看更多的悲情電影。

1.Thinking Silence Is Awkward1.把沉默當(dāng)做尷尬

Regardless of whether there is anything of value to say, many of us feel a burning desire to fill every silent moment with some type of conversation. Whats so bad about just sitting quietly with someone, and why does prolonged silence make us feel so awkward?大多數(shù)人都會(huì)急切地用各種話題來填補(bǔ)每一個(gè)沉默瞬間，不管這個(gè)話題有沒有談?wù)摰膬r(jià)值。和某人安靜的坐在一起一言不發(fā)到底有什么不好呢？為什么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間保持沉默會(huì)讓人感到尷尬呢？Like many of our behaviors, it all comes down to our primal desire to belong and fit in with the group. According to psychologist Namkje Koudenburg, when the dance of conversation doesnt follow the traditional ebb and flow, we start to worry that something might not be right. We may wonder if were uninteresting or not relevant, which makes us worry about our position in the group. On the other hand, when the dialogue is bouncing back and forth as expected, we feel socially validated.That said, not all cultures experience awkward silence in the same ways as Americans and others. For example, in Japan, a long pause can be a sign of respect, especially when considering a serious question. Cross-culture businesspeople are even trained on this etiquette, so they dont assume a silent Japanese colleague is unsatisfied with the negotiation or whatever else the conversation is about.The Finnish, Australian Aboriginals, and those in many Asian countries are also known for long, silent pauses in their talk and dont see them as a sign that the conversation has broken down. Rather, its not uncommon for people from these countries to think Americans talk too much and dominate conversations. Incidentally, for those of us where nonstop talking is the norm, researchers say it only takes four seconds of silence for things to get awkward.與我們的很多行為一樣，這都是出于人類群體意識(shí)的本能反應(yīng)。據(jù)心理學(xué)家Namkje Koudenburg研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)交流模式和一般你來我往的情況不同時(shí)，我們就開始擔(dān)心是不是交流過程中出現(xiàn)了什么問題。我們會(huì)思考是不是別人對(duì)自己所說的話不感興趣，抑或是自己人微言輕不足以被重視。與之相反，如果交談順利，我們就會(huì)找到自身的存在感。即便如此，并不是所有文化都和美國(guó)文化中的沉默即尷尬一樣。在日本，交流過程中出現(xiàn)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的停頓會(huì)被看成是一種尊重，尤其是在思考某些嚴(yán)肅問題的情況下?？缥幕浑H的商人甚至?xí)ｉT學(xué)習(xí)這種禮儀。所以在他們看來，日本同事的沉默并不意味著對(duì)協(xié)議不滿意，這也不會(huì)對(duì)交流產(chǎn)生任何影響。芬蘭人、澳大利亞土著居民，以及許多亞洲人，他們?cè)诮涣鬟^程中經(jīng)常會(huì)出現(xiàn)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間沉默的情況，但那并不意味著話題的結(jié)束。這些國(guó)家的人也普遍認(rèn)為美國(guó)人在交流過程中非?；钴S且一直占據(jù)著話語的主動(dòng)權(quán)。順帶一提的是，專家指出對(duì)于不喜歡交流過程中出現(xiàn)沉默的人來說，四秒的停頓就足以讓談話變得尷尬了。

審校：喵喵 編輯：listen 來源：前十網(wǎng)